I told a male house guest, a friend of my now ex-husband, that I was a feminist. The white, self-identified "freedom fighter" asked a question that startled me.

Stop breathing away your rage. Anger isn't a distraction from inner peace — it's a necessary tool.

We're used to lamenting the privilege of others, not contending with our own. However, during a Hawaiian prayer/meditation session, the guide asked that we accept the responsibility of our ancestors’ transgressions. I felt uneasy about accepting responsibility of transgressions that could be so vast and unknown. I resisted.