Social Media: the Digital Sister Circle?

For Black Women Who Found Answers through Technology When Their Doctors Were Not Enough

Realtime image of one woman finally discovering the term "period diarrhea." image credit: Shutterstock 

I always spend the first day of my period on the toilet shitting and shitting. Then I feel weak the rest of the day. I assumed it was a me thing because none of my friends experienced it. But one day, I saw a woman’s video talking about it. Encouraged, I searched further and realized “period diarrhea” was a thing – a common one at that. I felt joy. I felt validated! If there’s one thing our older generation of Black women didn't have, it was a digital space to speak freely, ask questions and connect with other women beyond their immediate circles. Back then the only resources they had were other women in the same physical communities around them who mostly shared the same beliefs and the same limited knowledge .  

“Endometriosis,” she says. “It was through posts from other women online that I realized I had stage 3 endometriosis ... My doctor never said a word, even though my scans showed ovarian cysts. There was a night I was in so much pain that I went [online] and typed ‘ovarian cyst,’ and boom...

Thankfully, for us, things are different now. We have social media and women are making the best use of it to talk about anything and everything. For years, Black women have been treated unfairly during medical visits, and that hasn't changed much. Black women are only about half as likely to receive an endometriosis diagnosis compared to white women, and when they do, it can take up to eight to 10 years, according to researchers. Women and racial and ethnic minorities are also about 20% more likely to experience medical misdiagnoses than white men.  

Our saving grace has been finding other women with shared experiences to fully understand what we are going through. So when a man posted “The world doesn’t need to know you are on your period, we need to bring back shame,” on X (formerly Twitter) a few weeks ago, it sent Black women off. The post racked up more than 47M views and thousands of women responded by sharing their stories about menstruation, misunderstood symptoms and how important it is for Black women to keep speaking up.  

I spoke up too because aside from my period diarrhea, I also learned through social media my “strawberry skin” was known as keratosis pilaris. And product recommendations from other women that helped me treat it.  

For many of us, these conversations have become our digital sister circles, a space where we learn we are not alone and where we can share experiences and find understanding. 

Similarly, on Reddit’s r/BlackGirls community, a woman once vented about living with PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome, a condition that affects your hormones, leading to irregular periods, excess hair growth, acne and even infertility) and how isolating it felt because most conversations she found online centered white women. As expected, other Black women advised and validated her experience.  

Speaking with other women about this made me realize how restorative the internet can be.  

Anu Oyeniyi, a customer experience professional, told me she found her own answer online.  “That was where I learned I had PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder). It was not an official diagnosis, but the symptoms other women described matched mine. I used to think I just had mental health issues, like depression, anxiety and even suicidal thoughts. But then I read other women’s stories and realized this thing actually has a name— Knowing this made me feel validated. I've gotten better because I finally understand myself. And when I get that feeling again, I just adjust and tell myself that my period is about to come and I will be fine.” 

For Mary O. Tinuade social media literally changed the course of her health journey.  “Endometriosis,” she says. “It was through posts from other women online that I realized I had stage 3 endometriosis ... My doctor never said a word, even though my scans showed ovarian cysts. There was a night I was in so much pain that I went [online] and typed ‘ovarian cyst’ and boom I saw tweets and stories from other women that made me understand what I was dealing with was ‘ovarian chocolate cyst,’ which was a symptom of endometriosis and way worse than the typical ovarian cysts. I joined a WhatsApp group called Beyond the Womb — a safe space for African women with reproductive health issues. Those women helped me get clarity and affirm my symptoms. Thankfully I am now scheduled for a laparoscopic procedure,” she says. “Social media connected me to women who understand.” 

And for Mojolaoluwa, who transitioned from relaxed to natural hair, social media was her guidebook and her community.  

“I found other Black women who had done the research and learned from them. It helped me transition seamlessly, and I made friends with a few of them. Without their knowledge, I probably would have gone back to relaxers and started battling one reproductive issue or the other...I felt like I met my elder sisters among those women. It was like a hug from my forerunners. I am forever grateful to them and for technology.”  

Although social media has its harm, especially for women who often face digital harassment and misogynoir, it has also become a modern-day sister circle, a kind of digital matriarchy where we hold each other up and trade wisdom.  

At the end of the day, this is what it means to build a legacy of co-operation, one that constantly reminds us that we will never be alone again.