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Dear John | New Me, Who Dis?

Dear Diary,

It’s been hard finding the time to sit and let you know what’s been going on. Well, 2020 is gone; he’s out of my life for good. Said something about needing to transition and it’s wasn’t me but him. Hit me with the worst line ever, “New Me.”

You know when I think about it, I guess I saw it coming; 2020 was so temperamental. My homegirl even called 2020 “harsh” and “the worst ever.” They had their own relationship outside of ours, so while he wasn’t the worst for me, I didn’t pry. He was like that though—up one day spreading joy and the next delivering the most devastating news. It’s like 2020 was double minded. Hmph, so much for that prefect vision and having the clarity he sold me in the beginning.

I mean look at how our relationship started. In the beginning, we would talk about all of our goals and plans. We would go out, explore the city. That all stopped around March. I should have known then. Our plans just seemed to not mean anything, 2020 had his own plans. It’s not all bad news today, though. Yep, you guessed it. I’m seeing 2021.

Some people are saying they are seeing similar traits in 2021 as 2020, but I’m ever the optimist. You are going to laugh, but we are even talking about our goals and plans. It seems risky, but I love that he’s into traditional roles. We event went to the gym! Yep, we’re starting in the right direction. OK, OK. I’m not going to move to fast, since this is the same thing 2020 did, then after a few months we were inside so much. (That’s the whole reason I need the gym with 2021.) I’ve heard family and friends say don’t even think about 2020, leave him in the past. But when I look at 2021, I can’t help but reflect on the time we spent together.

I know he’s gone, but everywhere I turn I see all the things he was responsible for—so many firsts. I’m looking at 2021 and realizing it’s not 2020, but he did create some new norms. See, I’m still using his lingo. I guess we will just have to wait and see. I’ll keep you updated.

With much anticipation, Angie

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